a weekend of one's own.

let me get one thing straight: i do not endorse my two favorite people being gone all weekend.

that being said; my two favorite people are gone all weekend. and i have zero rehearsals. and get out early from work today. *tiny dance*

i kind of need some hermit time. i need to do laundry and have time to hang it out in the sun. i want to blast my itunes while cleaning out my closet. i want to read with the windows open and the tv off. and i want to take the dog to the park and just sit there thinking of nothing and watching her run. i want to see zero people that i know. i just need a breath or two.

will i wander around derek's house and have moments of sadness that he is not there? probably. will i sit in the living room of castle doom and wish sarah was there so i could gossip with her or listen to stories? probably. will i get hermitty enough to have small dance parties with river or mina and rico (or ashe and bitty)? probably.

but. it will be nice to be somewhere on my own. sarah and derek's schedules are such that i am rarely home when they are not and i have of late been feeling more like a guest of everywhere with a home of none. which is probably why i'm feeling the itch to pare down my possessions again; the little voice in my head wants me to keep the pack on my back manageable. lessen my possession until i find a home. always settled yet forever transient.

and while i am totally over living alone and am happiest when busy, i do very much need some isolation time.

*sigh*

being human is being a dichotomy. it is not sensible or wise; it is just a product of our happy chaos and silly existence.