the lines of my earth.

okay, so i've been a bit busy this week. laura came through and crashed all over my floor. there was much hangings out and movie watchings, show attendings, movie makings, valley fair, and the best turnout ever for my birfday. and then yesterday was full of carin's french toastings and getting back to theatre showings. here are some reviews.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (dvd)

it seemed to be leading up to more. this time, the parts added up to more than the sum of.

end review.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: AWAY WE GO

i'm mentioning this directly after revolutionary road because they are both relationship movies directed by sam mendes. and they couldn't be more polar opposite. i'm a little impressed.

as for the movie itself, the rumors are true, maya rudolph is wonderful. i'd watch it again. i was never bored. plus, i kind of want john krasinski to be my boyfriend. please.

end review.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: BOLT (dvd)

this is not as bad as everyone says. it's not as deep as a pixar film, but it's a cute story.

end review.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: THE WEEKLY (got nothing to news theatre)

i liked the sketch about hiding out in the basement for the digital conversion chrisis, although the faint whiff of homophobia in the piece was a little sad. it wouldn't have even been noticeable if there wasn't more derogatory comments elsewhere.

tony did a fine job making people laugh.

most of the time i was just reminded of how mad the BLB makes me...none of the audience is far from the stage and yet it's always so hard to hear or see.

end review.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: ROBOTS VS. FAKE ROBOTS (walking shadow theatre)

i'd seen ads for this and thought it might be fun. and then i noticed it was by walking shadow and i wanted to go. and then i found out zoe zoe is performing and i was there. it's a pretty simple story, but the execution is fascinating. i love that they kept the robots relatively human-but-non-human, in that they didn't overdo the robotness. it actually made the individual robots engaging to watch. i liked them more than the humans. the ending felt a little abrupt, but i don't know how they could have fixed it. and they shouldn't. it's a fun show and taking it too seriously would have killed the fun. and that would be sad.

end review.


now i'm off to get things done before i go thrifting with kris. next week starts the heavy job stuffs and a whole slew of theatrey things.

aaaaaaaaand? we find out today if i'm going to be an aunt to another boy or *hope* a girl. *fingers crossed* eeee!!!

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

the cgi was creepy. like, polar-express creepy. the "getting hit by a taxi" sequence of events was really cool, but out of place. i find it hilarious that dakota fanning's little sister was young cate, but they had to re-dub her...and the ADR was fantastically bad. i feel sorry for people who went out to see this when it opened on christmas day, because it's a bit of a downer. i want cate's red dress.

end review.


now that that's been seen, i can answer #30 with confidence.

( 2008 year in review )

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS:  IRON MAN.

i am iron man.

no!  _I_ am iron man!!!

_I_ am
    _I_ am iron man
          _I_ am iron
...    iron man


i  <3 iron man.

review = awesome.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL.

hilarious.

dear jason segel.
i have been an admirer of yours since "freaks and geeks" and "undeclared." it's good to see you working again; even better that you're doing your own material.

i understand that, by showing your penis 4 times during the early break-up scene, you got some good publicity. and probably more people turned out for opening weekend because of it.

however. while the middle-aged couple in front of me cackled wildly out of delight and discomfort at each flash-o-dick, i found the off-camera slap-slap-slap of your privates hitting your legs as you did the penis dance to be more genuinely funny. sometimes, when we are not allowed to see--but know what's going on with--another person's genitals, it is marginally more amusing.

just a thought.

but hey. you got butts in seats, and i can't blame you for that. show 'em what they want early, and then they can concentrate on even better stuff for the rest of the film. well done.

i haven't enjoyed a movie of this genre so much since "40 year-old virgin." thanks.

yours,
amber.

end review.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: BE KIND, REWIND

mia's character says it best: "here's to movies with heart!"

it's pretty ridiculous, and feels a bit contrived here and there. but, thanks to our boy michel gondry, the movies they make are inventive and whimsical and amazing. (there's actually a site you can go to to watch the actual movies made in the movie, but i'm not telling you what it is. they give out the website during the credits, and it's probably better to see the film first.) it's a sweet little piece. comfortably this side of being over the top, on all accounts.

i love mos def. can i just say that i love that he completely reinvents himself every time he takes a role? and it's just subtle changes, but he's a fun character actor. he and jack black are fun together.

there is some goofy logic that happens here and there in the film, but if you just roll with it, it's a gondry goodie.

so on friday, gabe and i tried to get into hollywood to see a screening of the original "texas chainsaw massacre" with live commentary by the director. but we ended up having plans with a friend.

then, yesterday, the same theatre was showing "the seven voyages of sinbad" with live commentary by ray harryhausen. ray! harryhausen! you know, the claymation master behind "sinbad" and "jason and the argonauts" and "clash of the titans?" i had no idea the man was still alive!

well, by the time we got there, it was sold out. but ray was across the street at a bookstore for a signing before the movie. and we got to see him there. didn't get to meet him, as he was making some purchases and rushing out to the theatre. he's very old. lots of liver spots. slow walker. but very tall. the little bookstore was covered in his artwork, and he seemed pleased about that.

so we came home and watched "sicko" instead.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: SICKO (dvd)

michael moore does it again. and it's horrifying. he takes a look at universal health care and compares it to our own. the quality and coverage of our healthcare ranks #66 in the world...right above slovenia. we have shorter life-expectancy and higher infant death rates than any country in the western world.

in france, you work 35 hours a week, get 5 weeks of paid vacation minimum--one more for honeymoons, a day for moving, and as much time as you need for birthing and cancer recovery, all paid. and healthcare is FREE. they interview a girl in canada who basically says, "you hear about how much they have to pay in america and it's really hard to imagine or comprehend because i've never had to pay for medical care. i don't have any idea what that's like."

there's several stories of people who die because of insurance declines or issues, and those who go bankrupt and have to live in their kid's basements just because they got sick and lost their homes. he takes three 9/11 rescue workers to cuba for treatment--and they are treated, free--because insurance in our country won't cover them.

and, once you're really sick, the insurance companies will find any and every reason NOT to cover you, or demand back anything that they've paid for you.

what the fuck is wrong with our country?

if i ever get really sick, i'm moving to france. or england. or canada. or cuba. anywhere but here, where they put you in a taxi and dump you on the sidewalk outside of a free clinic if you can't pay your medical bills. jesus.

anyway. michael's made yet another film that should be required watching for american voters. god. so horrifying. so sad. so fucked. up.

netflix's decision to go unlimited with streaming video has been both a delight and a suck of time in our household. we've got the computer hooked up to the tv as second screen, so it seems all we do is watch stuff we've already seen. this week alone, i finally made gabe watch "the king and i," and he has brought forth "just one of the guys," "little shop of horrors," and "vertigo."

last night, i watched "bush's brain," which made me believe that karl rove is this generation's anti-christ.

and i finally got to see "palindromes," which is neither todd solondz's best nor most controversial. (i did enjoy that that the plot was a palindrome itself. clever.)


i would also like to confess that we rented "son in law" from netflix. aren't you jealous? how long has it been since you've seen pauly shore's best film? he's the we-ee-zal!!

okay. what else?

( the savages, eagle vs. shark, millenium actress )

hey! they're making a "sin city 2"! AND a "sin city 3"! AAAAAND... johnny depp's rumored to be in both! fun!

and tim burton's making a film version of "alice in wonderland!!!" joy!! (no word yet if this is going to be stop-motion or not.)

for "lost" fans: a video game is due out next year.

the real story of "mulan" is rumored to be out next year, starring zhang ziyi and michelle yeoh.

the boy that they got to play tom riddle (age 11) for "half-blood prince" is ralph fiennes' nephew.

and since i'm talking movies:


REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: THE DECEMBER BOYS (dvd)

snore. it's "cider house rules" without the abortion issue. and you can imagine how interesting THAT is. and they took the ending from "waking ned devine" and made it cheesier.

the only one i recommend this to is kat, because daniel gets his manhood on with a girl.

end review.


REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (dvd)

i have a confession to make: gabe wanted to see this too. but since i'm a little upset with his lack of communication over the christmas holidays and didn't want to pout about it, i made it my act of revenge to watch this and return it before he got back. pppppbbbbt.

i'm surpised that they were able to come up with something huge enough to turn into a movie, yet keep the regular storyline format. and i'm VERY impressed that so many characters got cameos without feeling like they were cameos for we're-making-a-movie-gotta-give-everyone-due effect. *coughranmacough* but then, they're able to pull it off in their episodes too, so it didn't feel too different.

i really liked it.

end review.


REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: V FOR VENDETTA (dvd)

we were trying to remember what else hugo weaving had done other than LOTR and the matrix sagas. i'm impressed that he took a role where he never shows his face. i mean, how do you get an actor to sign on for that? "you're going to be one of the main characters, but your face will never be seen. in fact, we can pretty much just stick anyone in your place and dub you over if you piss us off."

there were things i really liked about it and things that bored me. i couldn't bring myself to watch the making of, because i didn't need ten minutes of natalie portman talking about shaving her head or more parallels between the violence and the london subway bombings. and that's odd, i usually watch all the extras i can. i liked it, but not that much, i guess.

end review.

i had to go to westfield shopping mall to return some wrapping paper that i spent too much money on. you know the kind...where you're in a fancy mall and all the paper in all the shops averages around $8 and it's been years since you've bought wrapping paper and you're in a new place and you assume that's what it costs and then you go to CVS and find it there for like 3 bucks? yeah. that fancy-ass shit's going back to the uppetty store it came from.

so it's an outdoor mall and they have snowflake light displays on the walls of bloomington's and play christmas music and mall radio. while i was walking around, looking for papyrus, i heard a promo spot for "juno." the tag line was: "juno. a charming and cynical movie about hope." what??? wtf does that mean? i mean...WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? they just threw a bunch of concepts in a bowl and hoped nobody noticed that it doesn't mean anything. that's it. it's all been said. there's no more creative advertising. we must just cut and paste and hope it sounds good. nobody's actively listening anymore anyway, why not just throw some words at their ears and hope it sinks through the ooze to their subconscious. charming!!! cynical!!! hope!!! hey dear, wanna go see "juno?" yeah, it sounds funny. it's so indie and hip! have you seen the trailer? no, but i heard it was really cynical and charming. really? i kind of got the feeling that it was some kind of hopeful, feel-good thing. well. let's go find out!!! yay!!! *skips to the movie theatre hand in hand*

*barf*

still looking for papyrus, i passed the gap. and then i passed it again. and then i passed it again. no, there are not three gaps. but there is a HUGE poster of john krasinski in the window wearing one of their adorable scarves. now THAT's good advertising. there's nothing like john krasinski to make me want to buy that scarf for my own boyfriend. who, at times, reminds me of john krasinski. or, rather, john krasinski at times reminds me of my boyfriend. it's probably the hair and goofiness and geekiness and goodness. and the hair. mostly the hair. gabe and john krasinski have good, brown, wavy boy hair. which is why gabe is my #1-through-end on my real boy list, and john krasinski is #2 on my list of five. (alex kapranos still holding at #1!) yep. that's the only reason. boy hair.

after an embarrassing amount of time spent passing the john krasinski poster and after some more time giving up feeling embarrassed and just flat out standing and staring, i wiped off the drool and went into papyrus, which--as you can tell by the name--is a paper-goods store. a FANCY paper goods store oooo! they sell journals and stationary and writery goods and fancy bookmaking papers. i thought they might have a bone folder. i don't expect you to know what a bone folder is unless you're steph and/or into bookbinding. but i DO expect the people at papyrus to know what a bone folder is. i think you can guess if they did or didn't....okay i'll tell you, THEY DIDN'T. paper store, one of the most basic and fundamental bookbinding tools...yeah. ppppppbbt *thumbs down*

so it was one more pass past my boyfriend...er...john krasinski...er...the gap, and then home to movies.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: HAIRSPRAY (dvd)

i liked the original better. it was too stagy, the plot was stuffed into songs like travolta stuffed into a dress. i don't want to see queen latifa get type-cast in these mamma-of-the musical roles (but i suppose it's better than that taxi movie crap). johnny t and chris walken were creepily uncomfortable together. i wonder if they had on-set chats about "pulp fiction."

end review.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: WAITRESS (dvd)

not perfect, but. amazingly charming. and quirky in a friendly way, not the artistic way that the current quirk directors are trying to stuff in us like travolta in a dress. adrienne shelly did a wonderful job in all three posts: writer, director, actress. it tears my heart in pieces that she was killed before it was screened at cannes, because she definitely had her own unique voice and i would have like to watch her evolve it. loved it. nathan fillion, welcome back to my list of five.

end review.

baby don't you cry
gounna make a pie
gounna make a pie with a heart in the middle.

baby don't be blue
gounna make for you
gounna make a pie with a heart in the middle.

gounna make a pie from heaven above
gounna fill it up with strawberry love.

baby don't you cry
gounna make a pie
and hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

facebook is maddening. for a newcomer, it's the most assy site to navigate ever. there's just too much information and clicking on anything takes you to sites where you're completely disoriented again. i'm sure this will get better as i use it more, but damn. newcomers are just sent in to sink or swim, aren't they? and i'm thankful that i have so many friends, but y'all jumped on me at once and i had to run away screaming for a while.

on the upside, i found a few people that i'd lost contact with. that was really nice. but i think lj will continue to be where i live. facebook will have to be a good visit.


REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: JUNO

*sigh* the hype killed it. this is a nice little quirky movie, but it has a lot of flaws. none of the characters seem to get any proper development and, thought it's been heralded for its stylized dialogue...it gets really overwhelming and ridiculous really fast.

my summed up report is: juno is an indie film for conservative people who've never really seen an indie and think this is what they're like.

i mean, diablo cody was found by her blog...some agent out here thought she had a really distinct voice and thought a script from her would be the new voice. well guess what. that's the voice of 30-somethings in minnesota (where she's from and where the movie takes place). no, not everyone in my group of friends speaks like this all the time, but it's not new and it's not always funny. i guess i just expected so much more.

that being said, i really liked jennifer garner in this film and i don't generally like her. her character wasn't really given enough struggle for her payoff to hit too hard in the end, but she did really well with what she was given, and i liked that.

end review.