the lines of my earth.

1. last night, the air smelled like feet. at first i thought it was the person sitting ahead of me on the bus. then i realized i only smelled it when the air came on. then, i got off the bus, and walking home, i noticed a faint whiff of feet on the breeze. gabe said there's a lot of people in this city and that means there's a lot of garbage. i said, it doesn't smell like garbage, it smells like feet. he said, garbage can smell like feet. but i made him talketh to the hand, for lo, i knows whats i doth smells and the smells waz feets.

2. i saw a moving van with the company's name painted on it. it was called "starving students movers" and i thought, that's nice that there's a moving company specifically for college students. and then, in small letters i noticed that it also said, "the moving company with the funny name, since 1973." and i--close enough to remember what being a 'starving student' feels like--thought, that's really not funny. even if it's the students doing the moving for money. "funny" = the wrong adjective.

3. people here wear L.A. clothing...you know. clothing with "los angeles" or simply "LA" barfed all over it. i realize that this isn't strange for any town. but they wear it to excess, and it made me think that this city is a destination even for its citizens...like they're all in a constant state of tourist-residency.

4. i think people shit on the lawns here. early in the morning when i'm walking to the bus stop, the lawns all lit up with dew, i notice that there's a lot of crap around. literally. either people in L.A. 1) don't clean up after their dogs, b) let their dogs run loose (which is a possibility, as i watched a lab run through a yard this morning and leave a steaming pile), or 3) the nighttime denizens who leave their empty hooch bottles and various articles of clothing drunkenly use the boulevards for their personal evacuations. now, i won't claim to be a shit expert, but i poop, and i've had dogs and had to clean up their poop. the differences are subtle, but they ARE different. and, judging by my morning observations, either there are some sick dogs in my neighborhood, or people shit on the lawns here.

5. this morning, on my ride to work, i saw a crossing guard (vest, hat, stop sign) drinking from a flask.
even more?
i don't think there are any schools in that area.

dear los angeles:

i was just beginning to like you. now that it's the season where the air is clearer and there's snow on the mountains, i realize i like living where there's some topigraphical variety. and spending an evening in silverlake has allowed me to look forward to moving there someday; gabe and i agree that we've finally found a neighborhood we can both afford and enjoy living in.

there are many things i like about you now, L.A.

but you blew it today.

1 1/2 hours to go 6 miles? are you kidding me? the usual 45 minutes is bad enough. how do you expect me to have a life outside of my shitty job with commute times like that? just because some construction workers blocked off a lane for ONE BLOCK down in centruy city, there was gridlock 5 miles back? that's just not right. it makes me late for work on a day i can't stay late and that makes me lose money and that makes me like you a little less, L.A. you're like a foster parent that had a bad morning and now you've just set us back a month on the "getting comfortable with each other" trail.

*pouts*

i hate you, L.A.

just today, though. we'll try again another day.

well, i ended up going to my uncle kenny and aunt leyla's for christmas eve. it was great. my cousins and their spouses and their kids all showed up so that we could do the annual phone exchange with the bjork family christmas party in minnesota...and it was fun being on this side of the line.

then my cousins and their families went home to prepare for the party.

my aunt leyla is turkish. like, from-turkey turkish. (she's trying to get me to come with her when she goes back to visit family in the summer. i'm actually thinking about it.) and when she meets other turkish women, she befriends them, no matter if they've got anything in common or not.

enter yasimin, a 40-something free spirit who lives with kenny and leyla from time to time. i've heard a lot about her, but never met her until christmas eve...and that was the highlight of my christmas. she made me go for a walk with her to the park and we went swinging. it's so refreshing to meet someone out here who has a realistic outlook on life and doesn't give a shit about makeup or clothes or mountians of money...just being happy and young at heart. (oh, i should mention--she knits! she was working on a lavendar sweater all day. that's also something you don't see anyone out here doing...hand crafts.) yasimin was my greatest christmas present.

then the family all came back, all dressed up and sparkly. my cousins' kids, deanna and susie, are 12, and since there are no other younger people, i made good friends with them. my cousin mark is going to give me guitar lessons (he's a musician and sound tech at universal), and lisa suckered me into babysitting her 2-year-old, sarah, who is a moppett.

there was ham (i ate a little, doused in baked beans, to be polite), potatoes, bread, and a store-bought pie...nothing like the yummy spread at home, which was the only thing i really had want of.

and then i stayed the night in the guest room on a waterbed which was...HEATED. how nice to go to bed and be warm right away.

in the morning, leyla made breakfast and i helped yasimin fix her cellphone. then kenny and i picked grapefruit. he has an enormous grapefruit tree in his back yard that gives fruit half the year...WAY more than him or his family or his friends, neighbors, co-workers, traveling salesmen can eat. so i always take a few bags when i visit. mmmm. fresh citrus!!!

okay. here's the gift list thus far (i have it on good authority that more is coming):

--from dad: he paid for my car insurance and tabs
--from mom: most of the embroidery floss i will need for my next project, two handmade bracelets, two handmade bookmarks with kanji symbols, four sets of rhinestone hairpins, and a packet of instant "snow!"
--from jo: the clock. (long story. it's a running pass-back-and-forth joke)
--from noah and jack: handmade cards
--from gabe: tickets to the bjork concert (already went)
--from kris: a large totebag screenprinted with a hoot owl and a zipper pouch from etsy with an owl pattern and green polka-dot lining
from kenny and leyla: a blue knit blouse
from cousin lisa and her husband: a knot's berry farm package of preserves (6 big jars!)
from annie (the paralegal i work for): a $20 gift card to coffee bean & tea leaf (which will be re-gifted to gabe since i get free coffee at work and he likes to go to coffee shops to write)

oh, one other thing: i had to turn on the air conditioner on my drive to kenny's. it was that hot. sorry, midwesterners. but it was nice to be something other than cold for christmas!

now i only need gabe to come home safe on friday, and christmas will be complete!!!

i had to go to westfield shopping mall to return some wrapping paper that i spent too much money on. you know the kind...where you're in a fancy mall and all the paper in all the shops averages around $8 and it's been years since you've bought wrapping paper and you're in a new place and you assume that's what it costs and then you go to CVS and find it there for like 3 bucks? yeah. that fancy-ass shit's going back to the uppetty store it came from.

so it's an outdoor mall and they have snowflake light displays on the walls of bloomington's and play christmas music and mall radio. while i was walking around, looking for papyrus, i heard a promo spot for "juno." the tag line was: "juno. a charming and cynical movie about hope." what??? wtf does that mean? i mean...WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? they just threw a bunch of concepts in a bowl and hoped nobody noticed that it doesn't mean anything. that's it. it's all been said. there's no more creative advertising. we must just cut and paste and hope it sounds good. nobody's actively listening anymore anyway, why not just throw some words at their ears and hope it sinks through the ooze to their subconscious. charming!!! cynical!!! hope!!! hey dear, wanna go see "juno?" yeah, it sounds funny. it's so indie and hip! have you seen the trailer? no, but i heard it was really cynical and charming. really? i kind of got the feeling that it was some kind of hopeful, feel-good thing. well. let's go find out!!! yay!!! *skips to the movie theatre hand in hand*

*barf*

still looking for papyrus, i passed the gap. and then i passed it again. and then i passed it again. no, there are not three gaps. but there is a HUGE poster of john krasinski in the window wearing one of their adorable scarves. now THAT's good advertising. there's nothing like john krasinski to make me want to buy that scarf for my own boyfriend. who, at times, reminds me of john krasinski. or, rather, john krasinski at times reminds me of my boyfriend. it's probably the hair and goofiness and geekiness and goodness. and the hair. mostly the hair. gabe and john krasinski have good, brown, wavy boy hair. which is why gabe is my #1-through-end on my real boy list, and john krasinski is #2 on my list of five. (alex kapranos still holding at #1!) yep. that's the only reason. boy hair.

after an embarrassing amount of time spent passing the john krasinski poster and after some more time giving up feeling embarrassed and just flat out standing and staring, i wiped off the drool and went into papyrus, which--as you can tell by the name--is a paper-goods store. a FANCY paper goods store oooo! they sell journals and stationary and writery goods and fancy bookmaking papers. i thought they might have a bone folder. i don't expect you to know what a bone folder is unless you're steph and/or into bookbinding. but i DO expect the people at papyrus to know what a bone folder is. i think you can guess if they did or didn't....okay i'll tell you, THEY DIDN'T. paper store, one of the most basic and fundamental bookbinding tools...yeah. ppppppbbt *thumbs down*

so it was one more pass past my boyfriend...er...john krasinski...er...the gap, and then home to movies.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: HAIRSPRAY (dvd)

i liked the original better. it was too stagy, the plot was stuffed into songs like travolta stuffed into a dress. i don't want to see queen latifa get type-cast in these mamma-of-the musical roles (but i suppose it's better than that taxi movie crap). johnny t and chris walken were creepily uncomfortable together. i wonder if they had on-set chats about "pulp fiction."

end review.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: WAITRESS (dvd)

not perfect, but. amazingly charming. and quirky in a friendly way, not the artistic way that the current quirk directors are trying to stuff in us like travolta in a dress. adrienne shelly did a wonderful job in all three posts: writer, director, actress. it tears my heart in pieces that she was killed before it was screened at cannes, because she definitely had her own unique voice and i would have like to watch her evolve it. loved it. nathan fillion, welcome back to my list of five.

end review.

baby don't you cry
gounna make a pie
gounna make a pie with a heart in the middle.

baby don't be blue
gounna make for you
gounna make a pie with a heart in the middle.

gounna make a pie from heaven above
gounna fill it up with strawberry love.

baby don't you cry
gounna make a pie
and hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

gabe leaves me tonight, he'll be back for new year's.

it's just odd...the past year was about him being out here alone and missing me, and now, for 10 days, the tables will turn. it's just gross, how much i'll miss him.

i have been asked several times, and no, i will not be alone for christmas. not totally. i mean, there IS rico. (i'm giving him rasins. i'm pretty sure he's giving me poops.)

and my uncle's family. my uncle kenny's lived out here for longer than i've been alive, and every christmas eve at the bjork family get-together he calls and we all pass the phone around. it's kenny and his wife, my two cousins and their spouses, and their collective band of three children. so now i'll be on the other end of the phone, talkin' to the folks in minnesota, which will be fun.

that's christmas eve. christmas day for kenny's fam is just opening the santa presents (they do most of the presents on c. eve). so i'm probably skipping out on that, which means i will be on my own. and since disneyland's the only amusement park open that day and i just did that, i need to find other plans.

therefore, i'm going jewish for christmas day. you heard me. there's a small strip mall down the street from my house and i plan to stop in at starbucks for a coffee, then go next door for panda express, and get my annual pumpkin pie ice cream on at cold stone. after that? "sweeny todd." chinese food and a movie. l'chaim!

although, i may actually go into a church. there are lots of mexican churches around here and i'd like to see one all rose-and-candled up for christmas.

next year, perhaps, i'll be able to go home. but for now, i must work and get money so that i can come visit in the spring.

okay. as sad as i was on saturday night, the manic-depressive in me showed it's uber-happy face on sunday when gabe and i took cassie to DISNEYLAND!!!!

so i wasn't expecting to be knocked-over with mickey love. disney has destroyed plenty of the best fairy tales known to the world, filling them with pop-culture icons and shoving their merchandising down our throats like bastards.

however.

( disney onslaught. )