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daily spam count: 75.
every morning after i check my email, i delete my spam folder. i do this once--and only once--a day. i like to see how much spam accumulates over a 24-hour period. it is a sick satisfaction akin to popping a bulging zit.
but how i applaud thee, gmail, for being the sort-wise of my spam world. i switched to gmail years ago because the spambots finally detected my hotmail account and raped it in the butt with its promises of lower morgage rates and a bigger, stronger cock (in only 5 days! the ego! the audacity!). i spent so much time wading through my daily list, checking that one for deletion, skipping another, accidentally reading the one from "hi, it's chris, let's get together," only to realize that this was not my buddy fortner but an english-challenged walking erection. what a nasty surprise for my innocent eyes!!!
but gmail! how i sing its praises. for once again, the bots have targeted my location and they have bounded up around me like so many humpy-leg dogs, and gmail kindly takes them away and puts them all together in the humpy-leg dog pen, awaiting my signal to round-up-and-destroy, like a loyal and sinister butler.
and every morning i pull up a seat, pour my tea, wave my hanky and call out, "gmail, my good man. do empty the spam." and gmail sayeth back to me, "very well, madam, 75 spam messeges will be 'deleted.' are you sure?" "yes, yes, gmail. on your way."
the cries of the miscreants never reach my ears. filthy and diseased! trash, ready-made for the bin. now i may receive the news and good will from my friends without interruption, irritation, or THE SMELL. gmail truly is a wonder. i do believe he deserves a cookie.
every morning after i check my email, i delete my spam folder. i do this once--and only once--a day. i like to see how much spam accumulates over a 24-hour period. it is a sick satisfaction akin to popping a bulging zit.
but how i applaud thee, gmail, for being the sort-wise of my spam world. i switched to gmail years ago because the spambots finally detected my hotmail account and raped it in the butt with its promises of lower morgage rates and a bigger, stronger cock (in only 5 days! the ego! the audacity!). i spent so much time wading through my daily list, checking that one for deletion, skipping another, accidentally reading the one from "hi, it's chris, let's get together," only to realize that this was not my buddy fortner but an english-challenged walking erection. what a nasty surprise for my innocent eyes!!!
but gmail! how i sing its praises. for once again, the bots have targeted my location and they have bounded up around me like so many humpy-leg dogs, and gmail kindly takes them away and puts them all together in the humpy-leg dog pen, awaiting my signal to round-up-and-destroy, like a loyal and sinister butler.
and every morning i pull up a seat, pour my tea, wave my hanky and call out, "gmail, my good man. do empty the spam." and gmail sayeth back to me, "very well, madam, 75 spam messeges will be 'deleted.' are you sure?" "yes, yes, gmail. on your way."
the cries of the miscreants never reach my ears. filthy and diseased! trash, ready-made for the bin. now i may receive the news and good will from my friends without interruption, irritation, or THE SMELL. gmail truly is a wonder. i do believe he deserves a cookie.
