chewing gum is really gross. chewing gum i hate the most.

[duchess_of_pie]

true that it was saffert wetting his britches for this funfest. but it was i who ruled as queen of body function loss during the screening.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS #124: CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

the critics: will most likely be stuck in the gene wilder rut and tear this movie limb from lovely limb. and if you go with any thoughts to the former in your mind, you won't enjoy yourself properly either.

tim burton: went wild. stuck to the book. infused the factory with elements of the psychidellic and technicolor sublime.

johnny depp: my hero. his most far-out character yet. (but by the time you actually meet him at the factory you're so taken aback that you're glad that tim burton's sense of dark humor matches that of roald dahl.) in the book, willy wonka is a sprite, a weirdo, an eccentric shut-away with whom nothing is ever quite right upstairs and you would avoid spending any time alone with. johnny's take? check. check. check. he is not the slightly off-kilter yet knowing wonka of the wilder years. strap yourself down, 'cause this guy's taking you on a big ol' freak ride. in a way, he's just another edward scissorhands--you may even get a glimpse of homage to that character.....*wink*

danny elfman: melded his "batman" darkness with his oingo boingo weirdness and did wonders with the score. the oompa loompa songs (yes, they sing, just like they did in the BOOK) are all voiced completely by him, and you'll understand when you hear them that this is no small feat. and all are different in style: bollywood, disco, and a "hey there georgie girl" brady bunch likeness....

the kids: perfectly cast in every way. freddie highmore is amazingly cute and normal compared to the technicolor airbrushed freakfest that comprises the other kids. agustus gloop is the definite favorite. man, that kid is scary to look at, but certainly enthusiastic about shoving the world into his face. varuca salt has a completely terrifying smile that engulfs her entire face but neglects to spread to her eyes. lovely.

deep roy as the oompa loompas: you've seen him in "return of the jedi" and "neverending story" and "big fish"...but you never really noticed him there, have you. well. you won't miss him here. and please keep in mind that he was never digitally recreated. for every oompa you see, he did a complete and seperate take. for every. oompa. you see.

the back story/ending: the only thing you won't recognize from the book because burton added it in his attempts to explore why willy is so wierd. it's this ending that i think will cause the critics to stop drop and roll. up until this point, you know the story, you're coasting away in a haze of mirth, much like amber on a scooter. and then your world of knowledge comes to a complete stop and you are thrown into an uncertain confusion before coming to rest back on solid ground. it will shake you, but you will arrive safely, i assure you.

word of warning...or delight: there is a very WACKED and DARK sense of humor running wild here. dahl gave burton lots of fodder for the uncanny, and burton just iced the cake with his own. there were times we were laughing so hard we missed what johnny said next...which only willingly prompts a second viewing.

5 and a half stars (out of 4). get thee hence tomorrow, and for heaven's sake, leave your wilder-worship at the door.

keep a lookout for the burned-doll ward. you will roll.

*clapclaphopphoppeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!* thank you siri, you are the best bookie ever.

Comments

[musiquesas.livejournal.com]

SPOT ON review, my dear. I'm glad we could all have our first view together. David's enthusiasm was contagious! STICKER BOOKS!

[dug-whatever.livejournal.com]

garhhhhg

You posted seconds before me. I thought I would be first to respond garrrggghhh

[musiquesas.livejournal.com]

Aww, no! It was not my intention to steal first comment from you...whoa, it looks as if we've posted at the exact same time! O_O

[duchess-of-pie.livejournal.com]

STICKER BOOKS!!!!! RICO IN THE TEEVEEE!!!!

...he's still pissed, btw.

[musiquesas.livejournal.com]

RICO IN MIKE TEEVEE'S TV!!!! YAYNESSSS! *pets him*

[dug-whatever.livejournal.com]

Thank you thank you thank you. I was begining to worry and with everyone on the whole "wilder" kick I am worried no one will see beyone the Wonka of the past. Its the stricter story more to the book that excited me (ass-side from the obvious geekdom for timmy, johnny and danny)

Your review has only made my anticipation heavier and I am not sure I will be able to stand the wait until tomorrow night.

Thanks for the review sugar.

[duchess-of-pie.livejournal.com]

just doing my duty, slim.

[littlemsmullan.livejournal.com]

I cannot wait to see this!! Can I take my 4 year old or will it be too wacked out for her?

[duchess-of-pie.livejournal.com]

if she's easily freaked...i dunno. there's a scene with dolls on fire and when the squirrels go after varuca it's a little "the birds"ish.

but if i had to decide whether or not to bring my nephew (same age), i'd probably say he could certainly handle it. i think any of the images that are creepy are only so to those with life experience and a background understanding of WHY it's creepy.

check the rating and read a review in the paper...then use your jugement. when it comes to kids and what's appropriate, i have no clue.

[littlemsmullan.livejournal.com]

I think I will take her. She will be cool with it.

[dragonladee.livejournal.com]

ICAN'TWAITICAN'TWAITICAN'TWAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BBBBBLLLLLLARGERMISLDKFMOSIDNFSDSSDFAL...SSSSDFASLDKFJASOIFESAD....


*POOPS*

[marubylust.livejournal.com]

I wanna go see this at the Omnimax. You and Joe wanna go with me?

[dragonladee.livejournal.com]

HOLY HELL! They're showing this on the omnimax screen? ARE YOU KIDDING? (or do you mean the theaters right BY the omni?)

[marubylust.livejournal.com]

At the Omnimax. They made an IMAX version of the movie too.

[dragonladee.livejournal.com]

Okay... who's gonna clean up the mess I just made in my pants??

[marubylust.livejournal.com]

I'm not taking you out in public if you are going to keep doing that. Wear a diaper to the movie or Joe and I won't let you sit with us.

[dragonladee.livejournal.com]

Well, shit. Just shit.

[marubylust.livejournal.com]

I believe that is what we are trying to avoid here.

[dirtyknobs.livejournal.com]

Have you seen the original Dark Water? Or is that the one you are talking about? I think the original is pretty good m'self.

[duchess-of-pie.livejournal.com]

are you kidding? no one watches the originals anymore. case in point: "shall we dance." if americans had seen the original first, they would have lynched the director just for THINKING about making it a j lo vehicle.

[dirtyknobs.livejournal.com]

The original is better. Yeah, maybe a LITTLE like Ringu, but the ending is great in a non-standard way.

Check out "The Eye." Good scares there.

[kitsunekami.livejournal.com]

Watchers of The Eye should be advised that the end feels like a poop-out. I absolutely love this movie, but that's just the way it is.

[dirtyknobs.livejournal.com]

HA! I just rented "Audition" again today. It's out of print, at least until they get around to the re-issue, so I'm gonna make it mine. It a weird one. All slow, until BAM! SUPACRAZYGIRL!

The Eye is the other way 'round. All crazy and then s l i d e slow and all sorts of "plot." Sheesh. Still, a great one.

Movies are cool.

[duchess-of-pie.livejournal.com]

they finally released 'skeleton' on dvd? wheeee!!!

i don't like jennifer connoly. *glower*

[susiegrapefruit.livejournal.com]

How can you not like Jennifer Connoly? She's fantastic!

[marubylust.livejournal.com]

I am so excited to see this. I read the review in the paper today and Roger Ebert said that Johnny was channelling Michael Jackson. I was afraid that I would too grossed out by that to enjoy the movie, but your review has made me all excited again! i should've known that if Ebert knocks it, I'm sure to love it.

[duchess-of-pie.livejournal.com]

god i hope you enjoy it! i got the michael jackson vibe from him too...but not in that creepy pedophile way. just that, "i always seem reluctant to speak" kind of way. but it feels combined with eddie sizhands, and you gotta love him.

*heart*
*squee!* hee!