a prophet of limited means.

[duchess_of_pie]

this is in response to pantsboyusa. seems he had some drinks and then had some white castle and then had some ass trauma/death vapor and then had some embarassment in the office. this is also my entry for the evening and proof that i may be the next "ill-divining soul."

cea: you have learned a valuable life lesson. but remember that your soul is new and you will make the mistake many times before you remember that WHITE CASTLE IS NOT FOOD. WHITE CASTLE BURGERS ARE THE MATERIALIZATION OF ALL HUMANITY'S DESPAIR AND RAGE. WHEN YOU EAT THE WCB, YOU ARE EATING THE SADNESS OF THE CHILD WHO DID NOT GET A HOKEY-POKEY ELMO FOR CHRISTMAS. YOU ARE EATING THE ANGER OF THE WALL STREET SLAVE WHO HAS JUST SPILLED COFFEE ON HIS NEW DOCKERS AND HAS TO GIVE A PRESENTATION IN FIVE MINUTES. YOU ARE EATING THE FLEETING "HEY I WANTED TO SNIFF THAT" OF THE DOG THAT IS BEING RELENTLESSLY YANKED ALONG BY ITS MASTER. AND WHILE THE DOG IS NOT HUMAN, THERE IS HUMANITY IN ITS WANTS AND NEEDS. THE ODOR YOU NOW EMIT IS THE SORROW OF THE WORLD AND YOU MUST REJOICE THAT YOU DID NOT EAT OF ALL THE BURGERS, FOR DOWN ON YOUR BELLY YOU WOULD GO AND BE CAST FROM THE PLACE OF YOUR WORK. WOMEN WOULD SHUN YOU AND DOGS, DISPITE THEIR HUMANITY, WOULD NOT LIE WITH YOU BUT PISS UPON YOUR HAIR. IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF, EAT NOT OF THAT CRAPFEST.

oh wow. sorry about that. guess god really hates white castle. that was cool. i don't think i've ever been a vessel before. i'm actually sweating and there's a faint white glow coming off my skin. huh...wait a minute, i think he's got another th

AND WHILE I'VE GOT SOMEONE WHO CAN TYPE DECENTLY: LET THE HOMOS MARRY. FORGET ABOUT THAT BIBLE CRAP. GEEZ. MY EARLY WORK WAS REALLY EGOTISTICAL AND MYSOGONYSTIC. I WAS GOING THROUGH A TOUGH BREAK-UP AND I WAS PRETTY BITTER. I'M WORKING ON SOMETHING NEW, IT'S REALLY SHORT AND TO THE POINT. I'M THINKING OF CALLING IT, "STOP BEING DICKS TO EACH OTHER AND GO STAND IN THE CORNER." ACTUALLY, THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT SO FAR. BUT IT PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP. DAMN! THIS CHICK'S GOT A HOT ASS! I DON'T MEAN TO PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK, BUT I DID REALLY GOOD ON THIS ONE...MAYBE I WILL PAT MYSELF...ON THE BACK...SIDE....OOOOHH. SO FIRM....

*shudder* umm...uh-oh...i feel all wonky...i think i have to go crap...good lord, there's a dove in my ass!

Comments

what about buddha?

[pantsboyusa.livejournal.com]

i thought that by eating the WCB i was easing the pain of others. i have such passion.

Re: what about buddha?

[duchess-of-pie.livejournal.com]

buddah doesn't channel through anyone. he reached nirvana and therefore no longer exists on any plane. but yes, you're right, my little karma scholar, the former prince sidhartha would be proud of you. something good has come of this, enlightenment is at hand. you may have just taken one lifetime off your reincarnation list...oh shit. wasn't that hamburger you were eating? damn. cows man. dirty pool in the eastern books. strike that one life thing.

Re: what about buddha?

[pantsboyusa.livejournal.com]

c'mon. everyone knows that WCB are made of anything but cow meat.

Re: what about buddha?

[duchess-of-pie.livejournal.com]

and yet you still ate many. conundrum.