personal interview, pt. 4

questions from pinswithfury

1. You have to send a sincerely loving postcard to someone who you can't stand. Who would you choose?

the receptionist in my office.

2. Where would the postcard be from and why?

i would send it from LA just to tell her that i was warm and could no longer smell the eau de stank she likes to bathe in. but i'd say it in a reeeeeeeeeelllly nice way!

3. If you ran away from home and could only take the clothes on your back, what would you wear?

all my favorites. pink stripey underwear, red bra, pink and red striped socks, gap jeans, the star wars t-shirt i got from cassie for christmas, green hoodie, cordoroy tennies. if i get outterwear, i'll add: the scarf kris knit for me, my long blue coat, brown hat, stripey gloves.

4. What object you own turns on your internal giggle machine every time you see it?

it's a picture torn out of entertainment weekly. jack black is dressed as liza minelli and will farrell is dressed as david gest in drag (red dress, black stockings, "oz" ruby slippers, red lipstick, holding a wig). they're in the bedroom--littered with liquor bottles and decorated with a huge absolut ad--and "liza" is about to throw an emmy at "david" who's screaming "NO!" and looks like he's about to crap himself in fear.

5. Here's a potato. Add two more ingredients and make something yummy.

wash and chop into fourths. brush with butter, sprinkle with lowry's seasoning, place in oven on a baking sheet at 350 for as long as it takes to be awsome.

dannyboy's growing up!!!

for those of you who know dan avritt:

now that "lost" has started back up, i get to see him again. dan and i are not really close, but we like to see each other now and again, and beginning of last season, we would congregate at his apartment. i don't get ABC, so this allowed me to get to watch my favorite show during its air time, and see dan. its fun to watch it with someone whos even geekier about it than myself.

and i really liked his apartment in the warehouse district. a lot. until now.

( dannyboy bought a condo!!! yeah! )

personal interview, pt. 5

questions from susiegrapefruit
she gets extra points for giving me hard questions that took a good hour to answer.

1. Assuming for a moment that both exist, you get to have a private audience with either God or Satan. Which do you choose, and what do you do/talk about?

god. i'd obviously want to know how i was doing and what i needed to do next, who needed my help the most, and, though i think i'd want to keep the afterlife a suprise, i'd ask him to tell me one thing that would make me feel more easy about going there. i don't have much to say to satan except to berate him. if i thought he existed, that is.



2. Your life suddenly morphs into Much Ado About Nothing. Who gets cast in which role?

*this is directed back at laurie, so when i say "you" i mean her.*

beatrice: carin (i pick her because she and joe are far away from each other and there's a big reunion coming. also? she's very snarky.)
benedick: joe (you remember him from "slag heap," yes? also. snarky.)
hero: me. (i'd like to be beatrice, but at this point in my life, i'm hero)
claudio: gabe. duh.
don pedro: andy chambers. (sweet guy. you'll remember him as the husband in "machinal.")
don john and his boys: i'm going to email this one to you, because i don't know who reads this.
margaret: this would probably be katherine (we're friends and, if she should get carried away one night and have sex in public, we'd look pretty similar from behind.)
ursula: muriel (from "beautiful things" and "tempest." you remember.)
dogberry: are you kidding? this belongs to kujawa.
dogberry's man: douggie.



3. A Broadway producer and a Blackbeard appear to you in the dead of night. The producer informs you that you've just been cast as Ophelia in a successful Broadway experimental theater's production of Hamlet. Blackbeard informs you that you've been selected among pirates to be the new pirate queen, and he is offering you your own ship, and a chance to take those closest to you as your crew. Which do you choose?

you are evil. i'm going to be totally honest with you, not even trying to be funny here. this is really really hard. 28 points to you for knowing me so well as to create the best hard decision ever.
okay. i thought it over. i'm going with pirate queen. because, as queen, i can do as i like. that means setting up a theatre on my ship. and, my closest friends are mostly theatre types. so we could have our own floating company AND still have the freedom to pillage and plunder at will!!!! the SLUTTY WHORE would be the terror of the high seas AND the talk of the rags! yarrr!!! just think! it would give a whole new meaning to "break a leg" if there's pegs about!!!



4. You get to build your own country by taking all your favorite places and smooshing them together to form an area about as big as the state of Minnesota. Which places to do you use?

the kyoto/osaka section of japan in the south, the jungle temples of cambodia up north, all of bali just to the west of the cities, replace all the cities with the cities of italy, except rochester which becomes london and it's surrounding countryside, an overall smattering of scotland's hills and moors, and the shorelines and islands of greece up north shore way. also, minneapolis would be the capital, and i would replace st. paul with bangkok--it has a river too.



5. You get to completely erase one fiction writer and one poet's work from existence. Who are they?

i decided to bypass all the real crap that's out there, and eliminate two people whom i believe i wasted a lot of time learning about in college so that no one may ever have to sit through their crap again:

fiction writer: joseph conrad (i'll show you the heart of my darkness. it's my butthole.)
poet: samuel taylor coleridge (i hope that mariner had unwholesome sexytime with that ead albatross.)

i have to say, there was once upon a time i might have said t.s. eliot for both. however. i know you love him, and i'm starting--little by little--to understand that he's worth saving. i mean, without him, we wouldn't have "cats" for one thing. and i love "cats." damn the naysayers.

personal interview, pt 6. like leonard.

questions from dr_creaux

1. The chefs of the world come to you to invent a new type of pie to replace the Red Velvet Twinkie as the greatest dessert ever. They will name it after you. What does the Amber Pie consist of and what does it taste like?

the amber pie has blueberry cream and marshmallow in swirls. the graham-cracker crust is lined on the inside with a layer of chocolate. it is topped with chocolate dipped 'nilla wafers and blueberry sauce. it tastes like heaven.



2. You go back in time and become J.K Rowling. What one event that happened in the first 6 Harry Potter books would you change and why? Discuss the consequences.

at first, i was gounna save sirius. but i think that the fact that he's dead is going to have heavy importance. (and i think we'll see him again.) then i thought i might replace the inferi with something else, because the inferi gave me nightmares. but i liked that about it. the only reason she put a vampire in book 6 was to stop fangirls from speculating that snape was a vampire, which was kind of a dumb reason, maybe i'd take that out without consequence. but i guess if i had to pick anything, i wouldn't have killed off frank bryce. i liked him. i think he might have been a good muggle ally in book 7 when harry hunts down the death eaters. consequences? well, i guess voldemort wouldn't have the riddle house for his headquarters. or he would have used the imperius curse on frank and made him a puppet. but then there would have been a chapter wherin harry could have broken the curse on frank and won him over and then frank would have let him in the house....



3. You are granted the powers of one of the following: a jedi, a wookiee, a Golden Girl, Link, President of the USA, or a Hogwart's Instructor. Which one would you choose and why?

i'm teetering between jedi and link. i mean, there is no cooler power than the force. using the living force of the universe flow through you and guide you? hippies only dream of a tenth of that! to be mindful and calm? the buddhists would be jealous. and to be able to weild a lightsaber? are you kidding. sign me up.

but then there's link. and you get a sword that allows you to travel in time, and an ocarina that makes it rain or warps you places. and you get potions that heal you and masks that turn you into other beings and fairy and twighlight people traveling with you and helping you out. and a horse at your beck and call.

i'm gounna put it this way. if i get to live in an alternate reality, even "star wars," i'd go with link. if i get to live as i am now, in the real world, i pick jedi.



4. You find twenty bucks on the street. What do you do with it?

go to movies. i could get 4 films out of it if i played it right...



5. You are presented with the opportunity to produce/star/direct a show on Broadway. Any show you like. Musical or non. Money is no object and you have complete creative control. The caveat is that you must cast the show only with actors you've previously worked with. What show do you choose and how do you cast it?

i thought about this one a long time. i don't have a lot of shows that i MUST do. but there is a show i'd really like to do, but it's a one-woman show and i don't think anyone i know would produce it and cast me, so, since you're giving me the opportunity, i'd do "belle of amhurst" because i'd really love to play emily. wanna direct?