so there's been a shoot going on in the park. they actually took away part of the fence around the main tarpit and were filming a scene there yesterday while i was eating my lunch. i thought i saw will farrell in amongst the plexiglass mastadons, but there were a lot of reflector sheets and boom ops and camera tents in the way, so there was no getting a good look. and i feel stupid standing around and gawking. that's for the tourists. i figured it was just some tv show like CSI. maybe a dead body washed up in the pit. if david carradine showed his face, i was going to take my roast beef elsewhere.

there wasn't a name on the yellow card (sometimes you'll see these yellow signs up around the city, telling the crew where to go, like NUMB3RS --->), so i couldn't really tell.

apparently, i was right. it was will. they're shooting the "land of the lost" movie.

fun.

now they need to get all the trailers and equipment and heavy electric cords out of the way so i can enjoy my friggin lunch hours. fkn hollywood.
1. last night, the air smelled like feet. at first i thought it was the person sitting ahead of me on the bus. then i realized i only smelled it when the air came on. then, i got off the bus, and walking home, i noticed a faint whiff of feet on the breeze. gabe said there's a lot of people in this city and that means there's a lot of garbage. i said, it doesn't smell like garbage, it smells like feet. he said, garbage can smell like feet. but i made him talketh to the hand, for lo, i knows whats i doth smells and the smells waz feets.

2. i saw a moving van with the company's name painted on it. it was called "starving students movers" and i thought, that's nice that there's a moving company specifically for college students. and then, in small letters i noticed that it also said, "the moving company with the funny name, since 1973." and i--close enough to remember what being a 'starving student' feels like--thought, that's really not funny. even if it's the students doing the moving for money. "funny" = the wrong adjective.

3. people here wear L.A. clothing...you know. clothing with "los angeles" or simply "LA" barfed all over it. i realize that this isn't strange for any town. but they wear it to excess, and it made me think that this city is a destination even for its citizens...like they're all in a constant state of tourist-residency.

4. i think people shit on the lawns here. early in the morning when i'm walking to the bus stop, the lawns all lit up with dew, i notice that there's a lot of crap around. literally. either people in L.A. 1) don't clean up after their dogs, b) let their dogs run loose (which is a possibility, as i watched a lab run through a yard this morning and leave a steaming pile), or 3) the nighttime denizens who leave their empty hooch bottles and various articles of clothing drunkenly use the boulevards for their personal evacuations. now, i won't claim to be a shit expert, but i poop, and i've had dogs and had to clean up their poop. the differences are subtle, but they ARE different. and, judging by my morning observations, either there are some sick dogs in my neighborhood, or people shit on the lawns here.

5. this morning, on my ride to work, i saw a crossing guard (vest, hat, stop sign) drinking from a flask.
even more?
i don't think there are any schools in that area.
today will be my day of love, and i'm going to spill it all over mr. romero and his zombies tonight.

hey guess what.

you may need to be a girl to understand this; i don't know what goes on in the boy's bathroom. but you know those seat protectors? those paper things that are available in every public restroom but are never used? (who here uses them on a daily basis. hands up, you liars.) well, they use them here.

it's odd. in minnesota i used to look at the protector dispensers and wonder why anyone would feel the need to use them. i mean, sure, if there was a messy bessy before you... but toilets in the midwest are generally pristine (at least by L.A. standards). you see the protectors in most stalls and they just kind of escape notice.

but here... i mean, i work at a swanky place in century city. everyone here looks like they roll around in an armani pit and even the cleaning ladies wear blouses and heels. the bathrooms are marble and tile and have a wide range of personal products available in little tinkly bottles on the counter.

and every time i'm in there and someone comes in for business, sho nuff there's the crinkle of paper as a protector is whipped from its dispenser and situated on the seat, tounge settling into the bowl.

there are plenty of places i have felt the need to use them here. malls mostly. not so much at the theatres. but always at the beach--my god, the beach. public toilets here are nast. ay. but the legal department? really?

(perhaps this is just a stuffy century city thing. i mean, they ARE wasteful here. maybe they just see paper and their little blinkers go "destroy. destroy. pee on it." i've witnessed these people throw trash in the recycle bins and use a bag of styrofoam cups a day. for every electronic document, they print out three paper copies. and omg only PLASTIC bags at the grocery store!!!! *stops* you know what? we shouldn't even get started on the green issue, or the bashing on L.A. is going to get bonkers on my part.)

seat protectors are just such a funny thing to me. like ties or clothes on pets. why do they exist? we should just have floor toilets. not only is it better for your colon to position yourself in a squat rather than sitting on a hole, but you can flush the toilet with your feet and avoid touching the mechanism altogether. and, of course, alleviate the false need for dainty papers under our fat asses.

why.

Jan. 14th, 2008 09:54 am
dear los angeles:

i was just beginning to like you. now that it's the season where the air is clearer and there's snow on the mountains, i realize i like living where there's some topigraphical variety. and spending an evening in silverlake has allowed me to look forward to moving there someday; gabe and i agree that we've finally found a neighborhood we can both afford and enjoy living in.

there are many things i like about you now, L.A.

but you blew it today.

1 1/2 hours to go 6 miles? are you kidding me? the usual 45 minutes is bad enough. how do you expect me to have a life outside of my shitty job with commute times like that? just because some construction workers blocked off a lane for ONE BLOCK down in centruy city, there was gridlock 5 miles back? that's just not right. it makes me late for work on a day i can't stay late and that makes me lose money and that makes me like you a little less, L.A. you're like a foster parent that had a bad morning and now you've just set us back a month on the "getting comfortable with each other" trail.

*pouts*

i hate you, L.A.

just today, though. we'll try again another day.
how hard am i dying knowing that kate nash is playing like 5 places in the US and one of them is in LA? and how much do i die inside knowing that it's sold out????

i'm actually considering cutting out of work monday to go to the record store where she'll be doing a bit of signing and singing....
well, i ended up going to my uncle kenny and aunt leyla's for christmas eve. it was great. my cousins and their spouses and their kids all showed up so that we could do the annual phone exchange with the bjork family christmas party in minnesota...and it was fun being on this side of the line.

then my cousins and their families went home to prepare for the party.

my aunt leyla is turkish. like, from-turkey turkish. (she's trying to get me to come with her when she goes back to visit family in the summer. i'm actually thinking about it.) and when she meets other turkish women, she befriends them, no matter if they've got anything in common or not.

enter yasimin, a 40-something free spirit who lives with kenny and leyla from time to time. i've heard a lot about her, but never met her until christmas eve...and that was the highlight of my christmas. she made me go for a walk with her to the park and we went swinging. it's so refreshing to meet someone out here who has a realistic outlook on life and doesn't give a shit about makeup or clothes or mountians of money...just being happy and young at heart. (oh, i should mention--she knits! she was working on a lavendar sweater all day. that's also something you don't see anyone out here doing...hand crafts.) yasimin was my greatest christmas present.

then the family all came back, all dressed up and sparkly. my cousins' kids, deanna and susie, are 12, and since there are no other younger people, i made good friends with them. my cousin mark is going to give me guitar lessons (he's a musician and sound tech at universal), and lisa suckered me into babysitting her 2-year-old, sarah, who is a moppett.

there was ham (i ate a little, doused in baked beans, to be polite), potatoes, bread, and a store-bought pie...nothing like the yummy spread at home, which was the only thing i really had want of.

and then i stayed the night in the guest room on a waterbed which was...HEATED. how nice to go to bed and be warm right away.

in the morning, leyla made breakfast and i helped yasimin fix her cellphone. then kenny and i picked grapefruit. he has an enormous grapefruit tree in his back yard that gives fruit half the year...WAY more than him or his family or his friends, neighbors, co-workers, traveling salesmen can eat. so i always take a few bags when i visit. mmmm. fresh citrus!!!

okay. here's the gift list thus far (i have it on good authority that more is coming):

--from dad: he paid for my car insurance and tabs
--from mom: most of the embroidery floss i will need for my next project, two handmade bracelets, two handmade bookmarks with kanji symbols, four sets of rhinestone hairpins, and a packet of instant "snow!"
--from jo: the clock. (long story. it's a running pass-back-and-forth joke)
--from noah and jack: handmade cards
--from gabe: tickets to the bjork concert (already went)
--from kris: a large totebag screenprinted with a hoot owl and a zipper pouch from etsy with an owl pattern and green polka-dot lining
from kenny and leyla: a blue knit blouse
from cousin lisa and her husband: a knot's berry farm package of preserves (6 big jars!)
from annie (the paralegal i work for): a $20 gift card to coffee bean & tea leaf (which will be re-gifted to gabe since i get free coffee at work and he likes to go to coffee shops to write)

oh, one other thing: i had to turn on the air conditioner on my drive to kenny's. it was that hot. sorry, midwesterners. but it was nice to be something other than cold for christmas!

now i only need gabe to come home safe on friday, and christmas will be complete!!!
i had to go to westfield shopping mall to return some wrapping paper that i spent too much money on. you know the kind...where you're in a fancy mall and all the paper in all the shops averages around $8 and it's been years since you've bought wrapping paper and you're in a new place and you assume that's what it costs and then you go to CVS and find it there for like 3 bucks? yeah. that fancy-ass shit's going back to the uppetty store it came from.

so it's an outdoor mall and they have snowflake light displays on the walls of bloomington's and play christmas music and mall radio. while i was walking around, looking for papyrus, i heard a promo spot for "juno." the tag line was: "juno. a charming and cynical movie about hope." what??? wtf does that mean? i mean...WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? they just threw a bunch of concepts in a bowl and hoped nobody noticed that it doesn't mean anything. that's it. it's all been said. there's no more creative advertising. we must just cut and paste and hope it sounds good. nobody's actively listening anymore anyway, why not just throw some words at their ears and hope it sinks through the ooze to their subconscious. charming!!! cynical!!! hope!!! hey dear, wanna go see "juno?" yeah, it sounds funny. it's so indie and hip! have you seen the trailer? no, but i heard it was really cynical and charming. really? i kind of got the feeling that it was some kind of hopeful, feel-good thing. well. let's go find out!!! yay!!! *skips to the movie theatre hand in hand*

*barf*

still looking for papyrus, i passed the gap. and then i passed it again. and then i passed it again. no, there are not three gaps. but there is a HUGE poster of john krasinski in the window wearing one of their adorable scarves. now THAT's good advertising. there's nothing like john krasinski to make me want to buy that scarf for my own boyfriend. who, at times, reminds me of john krasinski. or, rather, john krasinski at times reminds me of my boyfriend. it's probably the hair and goofiness and geekiness and goodness. and the hair. mostly the hair. gabe and john krasinski have good, brown, wavy boy hair. which is why gabe is my #1-through-end on my real boy list, and john krasinski is #2 on my list of five. (alex kapranos still holding at #1!) yep. that's the only reason. boy hair.

after an embarrassing amount of time spent passing the john krasinski poster and after some more time giving up feeling embarrassed and just flat out standing and staring, i wiped off the drool and went into papyrus, which--as you can tell by the name--is a paper-goods store. a FANCY paper goods store oooo! they sell journals and stationary and writery goods and fancy bookmaking papers. i thought they might have a bone folder. i don't expect you to know what a bone folder is unless you're steph and/or into bookbinding. but i DO expect the people at papyrus to know what a bone folder is. i think you can guess if they did or didn't....okay i'll tell you, THEY DIDN'T. paper store, one of the most basic and fundamental bookbinding tools...yeah. ppppppbbt *thumbs down*

so it was one more pass past my boyfriend...er...john krasinski...er...the gap, and then home to movies.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: HAIRSPRAY (dvd)

i liked the original better. it was too stagy, the plot was stuffed into songs like travolta stuffed into a dress. i don't want to see queen latifa get type-cast in these mamma-of-the musical roles (but i suppose it's better than that taxi movie crap). johnny t and chris walken were creepily uncomfortable together. i wonder if they had on-set chats about "pulp fiction."

end review.

REVIEWS OF THE DUCHESS: WAITRESS (dvd)

not perfect, but. amazingly charming. and quirky in a friendly way, not the artistic way that the current quirk directors are trying to stuff in us like travolta in a dress. adrienne shelly did a wonderful job in all three posts: writer, director, actress. it tears my heart in pieces that she was killed before it was screened at cannes, because she definitely had her own unique voice and i would have like to watch her evolve it. loved it. nathan fillion, welcome back to my list of five.

end review.

baby don't you cry
gounna make a pie
gounna make a pie with a heart in the middle.

baby don't be blue
gounna make for you
gounna make a pie with a heart in the middle.

gounna make a pie from heaven above
gounna fill it up with strawberry love.

baby don't you cry
gounna make a pie
and hold you forever in the middle of my heart.
*sigh* it just started raining again and i totally forgot my umbrella. i have a ten-minute walk hom from the bus stop. that means i'm going to come home cold and wet, and not have my usual hug to welcome me. (not to mention the mountain of dishes gabe and cassie left behind....) god, i'm spoiled.

once i realized i was going home to an empty apartment, i wasn't as excited about the end of my work day. and if you're not excited about your work day OR the end of it, what does that leave you to get excited about?

i DO have some gifts to wrap. and a couple of netflix movies. gabe made sure to leave ice cream and pie and my favorite cookies. and there's an almost-full bottle of wine in the fridge. maybe i should just spend the week being an evening sweet-toothed, movie-whore wino.

i've never been alone in this apartment. not overnight like this. all of a sudden it seems very ominous...like half of it is missing and the lock and bolt are only just holding on. does that make sense?

there is someone who likes an empty house, and that someone is rico. what a bastard. he was so dispondent while cassie was around. i thought it was because it's been over a week and he's not used to going so long without a cage cleaning. but guess who was all bright-eyed and twitchy-nosed this morning? bounce bounce chinchilla, that's who. well fine. me and rico. just like old times.

to life!!

Dec. 19th, 2007 01:45 pm
gabe leaves me tonight, he'll be back for new year's.

it's just odd...the past year was about him being out here alone and missing me, and now, for 10 days, the tables will turn. it's just gross, how much i'll miss him.

i have been asked several times, and no, i will not be alone for christmas. not totally. i mean, there IS rico. (i'm giving him rasins. i'm pretty sure he's giving me poops.)

and my uncle's family. my uncle kenny's lived out here for longer than i've been alive, and every christmas eve at the bjork family get-together he calls and we all pass the phone around. it's kenny and his wife, my two cousins and their spouses, and their collective band of three children. so now i'll be on the other end of the phone, talkin' to the folks in minnesota, which will be fun.

that's christmas eve. christmas day for kenny's fam is just opening the santa presents (they do most of the presents on c. eve). so i'm probably skipping out on that, which means i will be on my own. and since disneyland's the only amusement park open that day and i just did that, i need to find other plans.

therefore, i'm going jewish for christmas day. you heard me. there's a small strip mall down the street from my house and i plan to stop in at starbucks for a coffee, then go next door for panda express, and get my annual pumpkin pie ice cream on at cold stone. after that? "sweeny todd." chinese food and a movie. l'chaim!

although, i may actually go into a church. there are lots of mexican churches around here and i'd like to see one all rose-and-candled up for christmas.

next year, perhaps, i'll be able to go home. but for now, i must work and get money so that i can come visit in the spring.
i've got 20 minutes to go and probably jinxing it, but i would like to announce that i've just worked an 8 hour day without actually doing anything work related period.

i'd like to claim supreme badass slacker points, but they told me to keep my slate clean because we're supposed to be sending out a bunch of important letters today. and they wouldn't give me any work. and the letters never got done.

i've spent the entire day reading a magazine, eating free leftover pizza from a meeting, surfing the web, writing silly stories about hogwarts, abusing the color printer for my own personal gain, and planning out my schedule for the coming week-and-long-weekend-without-gabe (hint: it involves "i am legend," "sweeny todd," lots of netflix, cross stitch, haircut, guitar, preparing and sending out gifts, and zelda: phantom hourglass).

and getting legal secretary salary for it.

i almost didn't come in today because i'm crampy and it's rainy (read: wet and cold and i can't take my car) and the last couple of days having a houseguest has meant late nights and tough mornings. plus, i just wanted to spend more time with gabe and cassie before they leave.

but i sucked it up, and boy, am i glad, because by sitting here and amusing myself, i've totally earned back all of the money i spent at disneyland. plus change.

and this blog concludes the last fk-off moments of my day! go-home time!
okay. as sad as i was on saturday night, the manic-depressive in me showed it's uber-happy face on sunday when gabe and i took cassie to DISNEYLAND!!!!

so i wasn't expecting to be knocked-over with mickey love. disney has destroyed plenty of the best fairy tales known to the world, filling them with pop-culture icons and shoving their merchandising down our throats like bastards.

however.

disney onslaught. )
so after the bjork concert, we came home and sat around for a while, too wound up to go to sleep. around midnight, we heard a smash, like the sound of someone trying to break a car window in. wouldn't surprise me. so we just let it go, knowing my car was in the gated lot behind the building.

but shortly after, there was a huge smash and we went to the kitchen window.

two men were breaking into a store across the street. they had smashed a display window and were loading something heavy into their truck; something they both had to carry. it looked like a tv, but could have been a safe. i don't know, it was dark. then they drove off, stopped, one man got out of the car, came back to the wreckage, untangled something cord-like from it, got back in the truck and sped away. it was too far to read the plate.

gabe called the police station and reported it and within minutes a couple patrol cars were there. our building manager went out to speak with them...most likely he called them before we did, right away while the robbery was still going on. brent's like that.

what was sad is that they robbed one of our favorite stores, rachel's flowers and gifts. we've never been in rachel's flowers and gifts before, but we would often look at it from our breakfast table and wonder how rachel was. we actually call it "the santos store" because they sell big, life-sized statues of santos and the lady of guadalupe and such. one weekend, there was a parade from a local mexican-community church, with a mariachi band and a statue of hezus with his bleeding heart on a bed of flowers that the crowd had all held aloft and such. they were scattering flowers everywhere and dancing, and the santos store was a big stop. they had to block off the street for an hour while they stopped there to bless the store and bless the statues and play a few tunes....

now they've put floodlights in front of their store and the one window's all boarded up. next i expect they'll be installing bars, which is sad. even though we don't live in the prettiest neighborhood and there are some shops with the roll-down shutter doors, we have less of those ugly bars that you see in some neighborhoods.

the last thing i want to see is mary staring out through gridiron. sad.

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