i'll continue with my tales of franz ferdinand next week, as there
will be at least two more entries...minneapolis was the climax of the
tour by far by far by far.

and franz likes our city as well. they had a break of a couple of
days here before heading up to winnepeg, and they used the time to go
guitar shopping, bike riding, and music geeking. alex chose one of
his favorite minneapolis eateries to focus on today for his weekly
"soundbites" column: our dear dear nye's polonaise. eeee!!!! enjoy.



The Kluski Pasta

Alex Kapranos
Friday April 28, 2006
The Guardian


The beat of the World's Most Dangerous Polka Band bursts through the
swing doors of the Polka Lounge. Lu Sneider takes her place at the
piano. She's played every evening of the 40 years that Nye's Polonaise
Room, Minneapolis, has been open. She knows more than 500 songs and
anyone can sing along with her if they feel up for it. A couple of
Polish granddads in anoraks join her. They beam beatifically as they
wail and wander through a tune. It may be Delilah. Red swirls of
carpet flow wall-to-wall like molten lava. The furniture is vinyl
chesterfield - gold sparkle booths and burgundy wing-backed bar
stools. Most of the waiting staff are over 50 and wear black bowling
shirts, but the wooden wall panelling feels more bowling club than
bowling alley. Heavy, dark glass-studded lampshades hang from
antique-effect beams jutting from the ceiling tiles. It's extremely
atmospheric, as if David Lynch, Mike Leigh and Krzysztof Kieslowski
built a place to shoot movies together.

The most striking waitress leans against the bar. Her hair is a
bouffant puff of white candyfloss with a midnight black fringe.
Oversized specs magnify her eyes to massive pools that survey the room
with mildly amused detachment. David, our waiter, brings us Polish
appetisers: pierogies (filled dough parcels), a mound of sauerkraut, a
jumbo sausage and dense potato dumplings. The star bite is the kluski
pasta: thick egg noodles with poppy seeds and sour cream that have a
texture that is as satisfying to bite as bubble-wrap is to pop.
Minneapolis is a brewing city and we all order pints of Grain Belt
Premium.

I don't pay enough attention when I order my main course and choose a
medium-sized rib. Medium size is 24oz. That's a pound and a half of
cow hanging off a bone. It looks like the ribs that tip over Fred
Flintstone's Stone Age buggy in the title sequence. The tastiest bit
is the crunchy black stuff crusted around the bone. Wading through the
spongy pink flesh begins to feel like I'm lost in a Dartmoor bog
searching for an end with a creeping sense of resignation as I realise
that this is where I'll sink. I stuff a couple more forkfuls into my
mouth, but it's too much. It doesn't feel like food any more. I give
up. So do the singing granddads. Lu Sneider starts Making Whoopee.

ยท The writer is the lead singer with Franz Ferdinand.
dearest alex,

thank you for existing. you give my heart something to do.

many happy returns,
amber bjork.



behold!  the blouse to end all hoplessness!

happy thirty-fourth, boy. keep on...getting your geek on.
the safferts are back and brought me fun and prizes. a detailed list and scans to come.

as it stands, i'm knackered and there's new developments in rehearsals of which i am weirded out by.

but it's time for bed. this is all i have to post tonight. i'm stealing it from a mail conversation i had with siri today because it was an amusement in my day. i enjoy open-lettering. it may become a major hobby.

more franz fangirling. you might just want to turn away. )
dear alex:

okay, now hold on there just one minute. that blue suit you wore on the cover of "spin" is hitting waaaay below the belt. you win. let's get married. you can wear the suit at the ceremony. the only thing that outfit's missing is my hot ass on your arm. aww yeah. you facking camera ham. every single time you mug i wanna slap your face for making me blush so hard. good god, and shut your mouth. that scottish brogue powers down all of my bodily functions. if you marry me, i'll let you call me eleanor, how's that? lord, what a mess you make of me.

i understand that you're busy and fitting a wedding in would be the pits. if you're suffering a cold or are otherwise indesposed, maybe you could please corporealize "outsiders?" 'cause i could take that to bed and be very happy with that.

you recall my good friend, siri? she introduced us, remember? yeah. i curse the day that bitchkitten plunked your album in my lily white fingers...because i have enough obsession in my life to be getting on with. she deserves a whipping. damnnation!

sooooooo....RSVP on the wedding then, yeah? i have to know quick because if it's not gounna work out, then i have to get letters out to ricky wilson and ewan mcgregor stat. and i'll think of you, every time i go to an art gallery or a matinee or a city on fire....

yours, against my will,
amber bjork.

p.s. more than willing to give up my citizenship and join you and the boys in glasgow.
welcome to fall. last night, storms ripped the cities, downing trees and playing host to tornados and baseball-sized hail. *shrug* i was safe and warm in the target center!

REVIEWS OF DUCHESS #149: FRANZ FERDINAND (concert)

hoh my god. i was told they put on a good show, but damn. their performance style is a little bit bowie, a little bit stones, all disco rock 'n roll! i flat out refuse to put much into words except to say lots of guitar-jumping, audience connection, and backup musicians running out to do a three-man on drumkit for...shit, what was that song? aw hell! who cares! yee fucking haw, kids!

but there is more to say regarding the conduct of concert-goers. siri ([livejournal.com profile] musiquesas)and two of her friends got the front rail and hot sauce neal ([livejournal.com profile] shedonwanna) and i took up barracade duty behind them--one of siri's girls had to get stable pics of franz for a webzine. and damn, the two of us were a WALL! neal pretty much got tackled from both sides, by concert moshers on his right and by me pushing back on his left. let me tell you...two years riding the korean subways has endowed me with stability of a mountain! yar! we took it on all sides, but i for one had more fun staving off the crowd by going wild and living it up. and i pride myself on keeping siri jostle-free (franz is her favorite band and i wanted her to have a good time)!

at the end, our boys threw out the drumsticks. one of siri's girls got a hand on, neal got a hand on, and they both got bitten--BITTEN!--by a complete bitch. we're talking spitting and scratching holding-on-for-life possesed by a demon psyco blonde from hell. totally. unnecessary. neal, you should have pulled her hair and kicked her in her (probably disease-ridden) snatch! but then again, hey. that's rock 'n roll.

i heard a guy behind me offer beer to another guy. the second one said, "i can't drink, i'm only 15!" which made me think that i should feel really old, realizing that many of the audience members were half my age. nah, not really. in between bands, "superfreak" played over the speakers and the same kids wondered if we were listening to m.c. hammer. cute.

of the opening bands, cut copy was one i'd like to hear more of. pretty girls make graves was not a favorite, other than one said pretty girl on a carnivale-sounding accordian. eh. that was fun.

thank you, siri, for getting me really started on the franz fascination and convincing me i had to see them in concert. once again, you were right and i love you for it. i went to bed with a smile on my face and it was still there in the morning, and it's still there now.

bonus: had to leave immediately after the concert and go home to soak and stretch, fully expecting the following morning to be a cane day (yes, i actually own a cane and have had to use it). i had some trouble with walking from my parked car back to the oak grove. normally, that doesn't get better overnight and i was more than ready to pay the price. but behold! the new eating regimen = amber got up this morning and was sore, but fully functional! *dance* look at me dancing!!! yay for soy and fish and flax! score!

sorensens: did you get to meet the bands?

"YOU'RE SO LUCKY!!! LUCKY, LUCKY!!!"

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