[personal profile] duchess_of_pie
i was catching up on some magazines the other day and read a list of entertainers that died in 2012. some people--like whitney houston or andy griffith--had big write ups. then there was just a list of names and dates. i skimmed them, and the name davy jones stuck like a hook in my eye.

after a bit, i was able to remember talking about his death with a co-worker when it happened, so i know that this was not new information to me. but in the moment i read his name, it felt new, and i had that sharp intake, and that pain.

you see, for some reason, my mind is like a wonky computer that will accept the line of code, but cannot compute it. davy jones not being in the world seems wrong. contradictory. improbable. he wasn't even my very favorite monkee, mike was. and i would probably pass by mention of mike's name in the obituaries and not be surprised. but for some reason, the cheesy energy box of davy jones still exists somewhere in the world and i cannot erase him from my registry of living inhabitants.

just the morning upon re-reading his name, i was struck by "girl, look what you've done to me. me. and my whole world" singing through my head in the shower. i didn't question it, shower time is random "remember this!?" time. i figured i would have to excise the earworm by going back to my room and looking it up on youtube. by the time i got dried off and toothbrushed and back to my room, i forgot.

and then that night, there he was in the dead list. and i was shocked and dismayed all over again. not a great sorrow, just a bewilderment in my mind that it refuses to sink in.

so live on, davy jones. if it means i can picture you touring state fairs and acting like the teen idol you no longer are, i will gladly lose arguments and trivia challenges because my brains will not admit the truth.



January 2015


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