Jan. 8th, 2013

i have been treating myself horribly. taking on too many projects, eating like a douche, not letting my ankle heal (yes, 4 weeks after spraining my ankle, i still cannot go without wrapping it and i still cannot point my toe). i look in the mirror and i'm all pale and gross. i've been living off fast food because it's what's fast--obviously--and the thought of making a lunch and dinner to take with me for my days of toil just seems like more effort than i want to handle.

my head is pounding. dehydration and back knots and not getting adequate sleep will do this.

there's a show i really want to audition for that goes up in the spring. it's a fun show with a director i want to work with. there's no guaranteeing i'd get in...but i don't even think i should chance it. because i'd never turn it down if i did. i'm working on two shows at once right now, and it's really hard. once they both go into performance, february will let up a bit. but i'm starting up another project in the spring and i've applied for fringe. although i probably won't be involved in pro rata's summer show, i'm sure i'll be doing something artsy for it. on top of all of this, i will be moving. and going out of state for a wedding. and my sister is birthing another person. AGAIN.

i think i need to have some break time. i think i need to learn to recognize when i need some break time. i think it might be nice that i can get to a place where i'm working enough that i can actually have too much happening and should be planning break time.

remember when i used to embroider and learn a bunch of instruments and read and shit? sigh. january's just starting. but. it will be worth it. in the end, both shows will have been worth it.

now. off to mcdonalds.

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