Dec. 4th, 2012

this is why i am sore.

1. i am 36 years old.
2. i am taking a clowning workshop.

this is pretty much all that is necessary to know. i could add that i'm way out of shape and i live a mostly sedentary lifestyle thanks to my job. but really, this workshop is kicking my ass.

it's only been a day. i have 9 more left. give me until wednesday and i'm sure i will feel better.

things i am looking forward to: learning more, and using this as an opportunity to re-start my workouts again. this last bit is key, because things in my body are starting to malfunction and i need to understand that time does not go backward and now is the time my body stops being the one helping me...i must be the one to help IT.

meanwhile, so happy to be getting back to clown. (we are talking simple clown, not circus clown.) there are a few things i think every actor should learn on top of their regular retinue, and clown and improv are up there. clown just strips everything down, abolishes fear of making mistakes (and teaches you how to learn by allowing yourself to make them), and strengthens your connection with the audience: you learn what they like, and they see themselves in you. it's not forceful, it's not "clowny," it's just a bright and honest openness. any role can be enhanced by it, because it is the very essence of being a real, wonder-filled human, unafraid of judgement and welcoming to those watching. it's why luverne was the iago we hated but wanted to be friends with in othello, and it's why tim hellendrung won us over in sneak thief, and it's why we all cried for mr. boban. it's beautiful. and it's easy if you let it be.

well, easy as a technique. painful if you're in your mid-thirties and have fallen off the workout wagon. ug.

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